“You’re overthinking it.”
Last week I was in London at the rather swanky private members’ club, Century.
In a room filled with senior women in music, organised by the brilliant Karen Emanuel and Julie Weir, who are starting a new network called Revolutions.
Amongst the buzz of champagne and speeches, there was a lot of conversation about overthinking.
Replaying conversations.
Second guessing decisions.
That inner critic voice creeping in.
But what comes up a lot in my coaching is how often women are told:
“You’re overthinking it.”
Often by men.
Said in meetings.
Dismissed with a hand gesture or an eye roll.
And I’ve experienced it myself.
Because in that moment, you stop backing your point and start doubting yourself.
Yes, overthinking happens when we’re second guessing ourselves.
But it’s also been weaponised.
It’s become a very easy way to dismiss women when they’re offering a different perspective and moving straight past it.
Because often, what’s being labelled as overthinking, isn’t that at all.
It’s awareness.
It’s emotional intelligence.
It’s seeing the bigger picture.
So after hearing “you’re overthinking it” enough times, women start to question themselves, edit themselves, and keep it simple so it lands.
When actually, you where right to say it.
This is the work I support women in music with every day. Knowing when to challenge your thinking, and when to trust it.
If this resonates and you want support with this, you can book an exploration call here.
Always in your corner,
Sarah
