ARE YOU REALLY BACKING YOURSELF AT WORK?
Might sound like a strange question, but there’s a big difference between trying to prove yourself (which a lot of women in music find themselves doing) and backing yourself.
Proving yourself often leaves you feeling undervalued, overlooked, invisible even.
Some of my clients find themselves constantly comparing themselves.
“I should be more polished, more executive, more confident.”
And yet they’re already brilliant. But, when your boss isn’t supportive, and you’re fighting to be heard, it’s easy to start questioning yourself.
It’s hard to show up as your full, authentic self in an industry that rewards ego, bad behaviour, and endless competition.
You speak up in a meeting and get ignored.
Ten minutes later, a male colleague says the same thing, and suddenly it’s genius.
You say yes to everything, to prove your worth.
You bend yourself to fit the shape of the job, the room, the expectation.
It’s exhausting.
Backing yourself, on the other hand, feels powerful even if it’s scary.
What if I stand out?
What if I’m different?
What if I’m not as funny, loud, smart as my colleague?
But what about if you stopped proving yourself and you started backing yourself.
What could that look like?
Backing yourself looks different for everyone. It might be bold. It might be quiet.
· Saying no when your gut says nope
· Listening to yourself more
· Naming what you want - out loud
· Applying for the job you keep talking yourself out of
· Raising your rate without over-explaining
· Asking for the pay rise
· Saying yes to public speaking, even if you’re bricking it
Backing yourself doesn’t mean you’re not scared.
It means you don’t let the self-limiting voice and fear run the show, and instead you tap into your courage and leader within.
It’s trusting yourself enough to take up space and stop making yourself small.
It’s knowing your worth, and acting like it without apology.
Here’s a quick check-in I use with clients:
Clarity
Do I know what I stand for, or am I just fitting in?
Courage
Am I using my voice, or still waiting to be picked?
Consistency
Am I backing myself - even when no one’s watching?
I know this, because I’ve done it myself.
I backed myself when I left major record labels at 34, after a decade in the industry.
I saw the glass ceiling, and I wasn’t going to spend the next decade trying to smash it with a smile.
So I moved into music merchandise, stepped into leadership, and finally had the freedom to grow, lead, and be heard.
Another major moment of backing myself came a few years ago, when I retrained as an executive coach, moved from the UK to the US, and started my own business.
Since then, I’ve coached women in music to:
Charge their worth as freelancers
Build confidence in the first few months of a new role
Ace job interviews and show up boldly on industry panels
Leave roles that no longer fit and find a new business that aligns with their values
Negotiate salary increases and step into leadership
Start their own businesses with clarity and direction
Backing yourself isn’t always easy.
It’s brave.
It’s often uncomfortable.
And when you finally do it - it shifts everything.
You don’t have to do it all at once. But one small move forward today to what you really want, that’s backing yourself.
If this resonated, and you’re ready to explore what that could look like with a coach in your corner, I’d love to hear from you.
👉 Book a complimentary exploration session here.
